Why did the chicken cross the road?

Follow the green cross code

In China, I think the answer would probably have something to do with the chicken being herded across by several tens of eager pedestrians. A better question would be how did the chicken cross the road?

Now admittedly, we’ve spent most of our time so far in Chinese cities where perhaps the shear mass of vehicles and pedestrians complicates the problem. However, I’ve avoided busses, cabs and cycle couriers in London, made my way across the Champs Elyses in Paris and even managed to avoid being run over in Milan where the pavement is seen as fair game for scooters and even the odd car, but trying to avoid getting snarled up in traffic in China is whole different level.

In China, as with much of our experience, the difference is scale. The roads are teeming with transport of infinite variety and again this seems to reflect the diversity of China. Modern cars, upmarket coaches and often top marque supercars travel alongside vehicles that might better be described as a collection of rusty parts simply driving in formation. There can’t be any MOT here and we’ve seen some of the beside the road mechanics ingeniously coaching more life from apparently deceased scrapheaps. Move over, regardless of the load or number of passengers you have to move, you make use of the vehicle you have. Animals, people and boxes piled high, perhaps tied on with scraps of string but more often held only by the skill of the driver. Early on in our trip, we’d point the most ridiculous examples out to each other and stare in bemusement, perhaps in anticipation of the inevitable comedy crash. It never happened and now we hardly take notice even of the most elaborate construction.

In addition there’s the famous hordes of Chinese bicycles and its modern counterpart, the scooter. In one quick count, Will saw 119 in one go. To accommodate the sheer number, there are wide cycle lanes beside most of the major roads in town and on the face of it this should keep the larger vehicles, the buzzing gnats and the pedestrians apart. However, at first sight, the cycle lanes just at a further level of complexity as they are used on occasion by everything from pedestrians to lorries travelling in either direction. This is just a further example of an apparent laissez faire towards any form of highway code. U-turns, undertaking, reversing against the flow, last minute turns are de rigueur.

However, and here’s the kicker for fans of order and rules, it works; unless you count a drunk man falling off his bike, we have seen no accidents; the enormous mass of vehicles stays moving, not always very fast perhaps but no slower than on some of our roads and certainly quicker than the M25. The Chinese drivers approach each other with tolerance and humour. The horn, although sounded constantly, just says “I’m here, I’m coming, have you seen me?” never the angry westerner “what are you doing, you idiot? Get out of my way”. People good naturedly move aside or slow down to let the overtaker back in before he collides with the oncoming traffic. A relaxed attitude towards traffic signals keeps the queues at junctions to a minimum.

So how about crossing the road? Well there are pedestrian crossings, flag-waving-whistle-blowing wardens and animated green men but we now have two strategies. If with a crowd, make sure you’re shielded in the middle but be ready for the sudden parting of the waves as the motor rickshaw ploughs through. When solo, we wait for that momentary gap and then stride purposely forward. Look at the oncoming traffic, get eye contact, be prepared to stop but don’t hesitate. If you appear confident, the driver might be able to predict your path and avoid you. Watch out for the bikes coming from the wrong direction and don’t relax until you’ve crossed the cycle lane too. Oh… and be prepared to run!